Facebook Making People More Empathetic

Facebook Making People More Empathetic

Several studies have shown that online communication has facilitated friendships, honesty and sense of belonging.  New research is showing that Facebook time may actually improve people’s empathy as well. The Wall Street Journal reported that, “The more time on Facebook subjects in a recent study spent, the more empathy they said they felt online and off.”

This information may come as a surprise with the number of reported cyber bullying cases. Internet Solutions for Kids reported that 17% of 13- to 18-year-olds were bullied online in the past year. However, this is low compared to the reported 40% in-person bullying.   

via si.wsj.net

Fear of dealing with social settings has led many to online platforms like Facebook, MySpace and Twitter. Some newer studies have shown that this form of online communication can be helpful for those who are shy or introverted and who may normally find social settings stressful.  The WSJ article noted, “In a study of New York University students who described themselves as either socially anxious or non-anxious, participants were randomly assigned to interact in groups of three, either in-person or through an Internet chat room.  Anxious students reported greatest shyness and discomfort than non-anxious students in face-to-face groups.  In the chat room, however, they said they felt significantly less shy, more comfortable and better accepted by their peers.”

The American Psychological Association (APA) reported some results at a Washington, DC conference this year from 1,283 people aged 18-30.  This group was asked about their time spent online and its impact on how much empathy they felt toward their online and offline friends.  The participants reported “a significant amount of empathy online, and that the more time college students spent on Facebook, the more empathy they expressed online and in real life.”

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Bones Brennan Character Exemplifies Lack of Empathy

 

Having empathy is a part of emotional intelligence as defined by leaders in the field of EI such as Rueven Bar-On.  Daniel Goleman describes three types of empathy including: cognitive, emotional and compassionate.  In the book It’s Not You It’s Your Personality, it is noted that having empathy is a big part of interpersonal skills.  It has to do with how much we care about other peoples’ feelings and whether we can see things from other peoples’ perspectives.

A recent episode of the TV show, Bones, showed an excellent example of how Emily Deschanel’s character Temperance Brennan lacked empathy.  For those unfamiliar with the program, the Brennan has a high IQ but may lack in the EQ or emotional quotient department.  In this episode, Bennan lacks the ability to realize that her logical thinking and lack of understanding of others’ emotions is rude.  In the episode, Feet on the Beach. Brennan must work with a podiatrist that she feels lacks her superior training and skills.  While this may be fodder for entertainment, people may run into a similar situations at work where they may feel their abilities are being dismissed.

How can someone so smart lack empathy?  It may be difficult for people to do what Dr. Jeremy Sherman refers to as “shoe shifting” or putting ourselves in another’s shoes.  “When you put yourself in another person’s shoes you risk seeing yourself as others would see you—not quite as special as you think”

How do we improve our empathetic abilities?  One way is to improve our listening skills.  For more tips on improving empathy, check out Sherman’s article in Psychology Today.

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You May Be Looking For A Job But Your Emotional Intelligence May Be What Needs Work

The job market is over-crowded with applicants all applying for the few coveted jobs.  What makes one person stand out in the crowd over another?  One thing may be their emotional intelligence.  Emotional intelligence (EI) has become a buzz word in the last 10-15 years, thanks mostly to Daniel Goleman who has popularized EI through several mainstream books.  Goleman’s definition of EI is not the only definition of EI.  In fact, there are several authors who have defined EI in slightly different ways. I think one of the basic and most easily understood definitions is:  Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand one’s own emotions as well as those of others.

Why do employers care about this?  By having the ability to understand other people’s emotions, you can have more empathy, social intelligence and interpersonal skills.  In my dissertation, I examined the relationship between emotional intelligence and sales performance.  I did indeed find that a correlation existed between the two. Those with higher EI levels did produce more sales.  Employers know about the importance of having EI now and are looking for it in their potential employees. 

What if your emotional intelligence quotient or EQ is low?  The good news is that Goleman and others have shown that EI can be improved.  I would recommend reading Daniel Goleman’s book, Emotional Intelligence: 10th Anniversary Edition, Why it Can Matter More Than IQ. Another important book is by Authors such as Hughes, Patterson, and Terrell, who offer training activities that help develop specific areas of emotional intelligence. Although their book, Emotional Intelligence in Action, is aimed at leaders, it would be helpful to those looking for exercises to develop their emotional intelligence.